Saturday, 21 May 2011

I Want a Raise, Not Praise!


I feel supremely (though probably unsuitably) satisfied with myself today - mastered difference equations (don't ask, you reeeally don't want to know), had another article published on YouGov, henna-d my mummy and myself rather nicely and I just feel, in general, like less of a flake. I can’t say I feel happy exactly...but let’s say reason has finally kicked in and kicked emotion up the a**. I realise that I’m just 21 and I have everything going for me - time, prospects, (an occasionally defunct but generally in good-working order) brain, a great family... and if I don’t seize the opportunities facing me, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. So with the click of a button I’ve put my past (emails, pictures, texts) safely into storage. It’s not that I want to forget some very happy times, but just that I know it’s going to be a while before there’s enough ‘space’ between the two of us (my past, and me, so to speak) for me to think happily of it. I’m not going to lie, I’m a totally hopeless romantic – I do very unfortunately wish on shooting stars, believe in soulmates and hope for a love that lasts forever. So I’ve probably taken this break-up a lot harder than I should. But it does hurt, because I wished it to last a lifetime. And accepting that what was perfect for me was so easy for another to walk away from is very bitter medicine indeed.

Having been housebound for what seems like eternity now, I've been watching rather a lot of films, reading a lot of books, sending a lot of FB messages etc. I’ve become a bit of a couch potato (or chair spud, in my case) and I’m really not liking. But then studying does have to be interspersed with something vaguely fun and so I console myself with the thought that it’s just a few weeks more after which I’m free to be doing what I want, when I want. Now, if my choice in books (*ehem*) is anything to go by, then obviously I'd be watching a lot of chick-flick, rom-com type movies...but I don't. Not very often anyway. Only occasionally, like the odd one here and there. Or maybe two. Maybe more, y'know. Oh alright then, all the time!! But aren’t they really the best type of film? You can watch them in the company of girlfriends (and ooh and aah over the good-looking men) or your boyfriend/girlfriend (and cuddle close) or even just alone to garner inspiration, possibly as a last punt for some hope when you’re really badly demoralised. I watched this one on Cris' computer a long time back, and I absolutely loved it.

Work was a bit of a shocker today. Considering I didn't sleep for most of the night, I was ready-equipped with dread, grogginess and apathy for what was supposed to be a morning of queues, rush and mess. Alas, when I arrived at 6.48am the hotel was a scene of peace and tranquillity. Nobody forcing their way into the breakfast room an hour before time. Not even trying to. With a measly 50 guests for breakfast, we cruised through (in case of the slight risk my supervisor is reading this – he has complimented me on my blog before – I hasten to add that I wasn’t being lazy, just that we're so used to handling three or four times the number we've become overly-efficient). I even had the time to muse over a crossword. Score. But it wasn’t long anyway before pandemonium soon descended upon the Park Inn; today’s circus included drunken wandering, pondering guests and a rather demanding lady running a training group in the suite upstairs (Can we have water? Can we have a projector? Can you check the aircon?). As always though, it went quick and we laughed it off.

Highlights today -

My friend on reception told me that a few customers had left feedback about me during their stay here. Apparently they were most impressed by “Seema. She was pleasant and cheerful, and didn’t stop working for the entire time we were having breakfast. She deserves a promotion!” *Chest swells, with pride, she pats herself on the back*. I’m hoping the boss takes the advice and gives me a raise with the praise ;)

As per usual the news drones on in the background for as many hours as I work – I think today’s news beats all previous records of absurdity. According to some prophecy, an apocalypse is nigh, and today is the start of the end of the world. Harold Camping, a Christian Evangelist, says Jesus Christ will return to earth today and true believers will be swept up or "raptured", to heaven. He adds that biblical texts indicate a giant earthquake will mark the start of the world's destruction, and that by 21 October all non-believers will be dead. Well, isn't that bleak. Here I was worrying about what to do with myself tonight when I should really be pondering my chances of being swallowed up by Mother Earth (I'm really going to have to eat my words if something untoward does actually happen...)But seriously, it had to be an American (sorry if you’re an American and reading this), didn’t it? Didn’t they predict Armageddon at the turn of the new millennium? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I say no more.


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